~ This one's about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Mary is like us in so many ways. I am inspired by Mary's life, purity, and strength. Her example has guided me through the toughest seasons, and I think she can help you too. There's a reason you're here. There's a reason you're reading this right now. This post was written in 2017 & to preserve the integrity of that season of my life, I did not revise or change anything. I want this to be as real and raw as possible. ~
Written on November 12, 2017
As I roll up my sleeves and get ready to write this entry, I look back on the past few months of my life and see that everything has changed. My major, the city I live in, my family, my heart, and most importantly my understanding of the heart of Mary and the importance of suffering. As everything is changing around me, I am reminded of The annunciation of Mary where an angel Gabriel came to her and changed her life with one Yes.
I'm not going to lie, these past few months have been roughhhh. The Lord has tested my faith with sacrifices happening left and right.
Truth be told there were numerous times I complained about the situations I could not change along with times I obsessed with the despair of not having control over them. There were pity parties I threw for myself and days where I was so lost with the direction my life was headed that I would slack off in my responsibilities and bum out (aka sitting on the couch binge-watching Gilmore Girls) but friends, God is good and if you keep asking he will enlighten the way before you even if it all seems dimmed to never change.
Yesterday as I prayed the Rosary for the first time in a while, I pondered deeply on 2 mysteries: The Nativity and The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple. As I thought about these mysteries, my mind dove directly towards our Blessed Mother Mary. I thought about her courageous FAITH in believing Gods promises and her steadfast TRUST in our Father during the swords that pierced her heart. Here are some of my thoughts during prayer.
THE NATIVITY
Mary carried the king of kings in her belly and truly believed that what the Lord spoke of her WOULD indeed happen regardless of what was before her. Faith is the assurance of that of which we cannot see and Mary had the faith and acceptance to believe with her whole heart and not with just her eyes.
What was laid before Mary? A manger and a baby boy wrapped in swaddling clothes. Not to mention a distant hierarchy wanted the newborn king killed. That doesn't seem like a right way for a king to be born right? Well, not to us anyway. That's what makes Jesus so special. Our savior entered the world in poverty to teach us from the get-go, the detachment from earthly possessions.
This is exactly where Mary chose to believe rather than to doubt. She was not hesitant, but accepting of Gods plan. Now let's be honest, if this was us- would we really be okay with our baby being born in a stable with animals all around? Most likely not. I would probably be crying up to God again like "whyyy?" But only because of my lack of acceptance and trust in Gods plan! Mary not only had faith to believe in Gods promises but ACCEPTED Gods will for every detail of her life with Jesus.
Mary chose to say Yes in every one of those instances. She had the faith to believe that Gods word would be made flesh, and she hoped against all hope that our Lord would protect and provide. Mary trusted God above all circumstances to be in complete control to do the very things He promised.
Now, in that moment it may have been a bit easier for Mary to have faith because she had a baby in her womb right there in front of her, but sometimes faith won't be as evident as the rays of the sun. Sometimes we have to look within the fog to reignite that flame of faith and accept Gods will for our lives. That's exactly what Mary did at the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple...
THE PRESENTATION OF JESUS IN THE TEMPLE
The next mystery is the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, where the prophet Simeon tells Mary of the swords that will pierce the heart of Jesus and that of her own. Now let's pause for a moment...Can you imagine being a mom holding your newborn baby and be told that the most grievous mission is going to happen to your baby boy at some point in his life, you don't know when, and you surely don't know the details? Now that's when I would run...but we aren't Mary.
Our Holy Blessed Mother took what the prophet said and chose to Trust God above her own understanding. Mary could have been selfish, taken Jesus, and ran away to save her son from harm- but no, she chose to let Jesus go into the precious hands of God and trusted Him with all her being. She again chose to believe with her heart and not with her eyes. She chose to trust rather than to worry. After all, when you love something you must let it go into God's hands because His ways are far beyond anything we can comprehend. It all belongs to God anyway.
After this, I started to think of Mary and how I could be more like her. I realized that Mary not only embraced the suffering that was to come but she Accepted it and took it to morph something beautiful. I think of my little sufferings compared to the swords that pierced our Blessed Mother's heart and I question myself: "Why do you think you deserve less suffering than she and than Jesus!?" Mary is the purest woman with the most truthful heart for the love of her son, and she had the sourest lemon life had to offer- but you know what? She still made lemonade. She made the best dang lemonade! Mary did not curse to God or complain about her circumstances but chose to believe in His promises for all of eternity and now sits in Glory with her beloved son in Heaven.
Also, think about the humility it took for Mary to accept the trials that were to come. You would think a woman who has the Messiah in her womb would be all uptight and snobby thinking she no longer deserved suffering but NOOO. Mary is humble and obedient that she suffered through every trial with a light heart and a consistent Yes.
This was a big wake up call to my heart and my way of life. I now want to try and offer my daily sacrifices up to the heart of Jesus because it's the least I could do. I also choose to take whatever ugly there is in my life and give it to God to make something beautiful. I choose to let God take control in leading me to change the things that I can and to accepting the things I cannot. I strive, as we all do, to be more like Mary.
I choose to believe with our hearts that feelings are temporary but our God is eternal and He never changes...
Think about Mary in other mysteries and put yourself right next to her. What would you feel about the situations before you? What would you say to Mary? What are the swords of your life where you can be more obedient, trustworthy, and accepting of God?
Is there anything you can offer up to God every day to make life a little bit lighter? Make everything an offering to Jesus and leave it as a gift in his hands- He will surely take it and make something beautiful.
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