Written on August 16, 2019
Lord, I offer up this rebel heart
so stubborn and so restless from the start.
I don't wanna fight You anymore
so take this rebel heart and make it Yours.
Father, I no longer wanna run
You've broken my resistance with Your love.
So bend this rebel heart unto Your will
Turn the stone inside me back to flesh
And watch this rebel heart surrender all.
I give it over to You.
And now this rebel heart belongs to You.
I give it over to You. Your love is like an arrow, straight and through (true). Now, this rebel heart belongs to you.
~
I remember playing this song, windows down, driving on the windy roads atop the hills of North Georgia with the sunset on my horizon and the glistening mountain ranges surrounding me - this was one of the most freeing moments of my entire life.
This was my moment of trustful surrender to the Lord.
I was weeks away from completing my 3-month kitchen- staff mission, working non-stop, with the people I loved most so stinkin' far away, and my soul was tired.
The place I wanted to be most was in my mother's arms. She felt safe. She was home, and at this moment I longed for that more than anything. Just like when a child falls, scrapes their knee, and longs for their sweet mom to patch it up and make it all better. I wanted to RUN away so badly. To forget those last few weeks of camp and run back to my mother's arms, where I was fully known, cared for, and loved so well. But God was calling me to take courage in the discomfort and persevere. Those weeks felt like months away.
One day at a time, my daughter.
This is what the good work calls us to do, but we never have to do it alone. God promises to *always* carry us and be our strength.
There is so much more to this summer story of mine, but for that day, the lesson was to
just
keep
going...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28
"It is suffering, more than anything else, which clears the way for grace and transforms human souls." - St. John Paul II
"Cast yourself into the arms of God and be very sure that is He wants anything of you, He will fit you for the work and give you strength." - St. Philip Neri
"Suffering overwhelms you because you take it like a coward. Meet it bravely, with a Christian spirit: and you will regard it as a treasure." - St. Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer
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